On Her Own Terms: Ashley

Tell us a little about yourself.

Hi, I'm Ashley. I'm 35 years old and live in Florida. I'm currently parenting my beautiful daughter, Gracie, as a solo mom by choice. Becoming her mom has been the greatest joy of my life. I never knew a love like this existed.

What made you choose solo motherhood by choice?

I always knew I wanted to be a mom. I was in a serious relationship and ended it because it didn't align with my future goals. A year later I almost died from an appendix rupture. I learned when I went to freeze my eggs that I had lost my ovary from the appendix rupture. 2 years later I didn't want to wait any longer to begin my journey to motherhood as I wasn't meeting a partner that suited what I was looking for.

What was your biggest fear before you started?

My biggest fear was what other people would think since the journey was not traditional and I am from a very traditional family.

What surprised you the most about the journey?

I was surprised by how strong I became. There are moments when you're forced to trust yourself in ways you never imagined, and each challenge builds confidence. I also didn't expect how deeply becoming a mother would change me. It gave me a purpose that reshaped every part of my life.

What's one thing nobody tells you before becoming a solo mother by choice?

Nobody tells you that while you'll never feel alone because your child fills your heart in unimaginable ways, you may still grieve not having a partner to experience those moments with. It's possible to be incredibly fulfilled as a mother while still hoping to someday find someone to share your family's life. Those two feelings can exist together.

What's one misconception about solo motherhood by choice you wish people would stop believing?

I wish people would stop assuming that solo motherhood was a "last resort" or that we simply couldn't find a partner. For many of us, it was an intentional, empowered decision. Single moms by choice choose motherhood because they deserve to be parents just as badly as someone in a traditional situation.

What does "finding your village" mean to you?

Finding your village means surrounding yourself with people who show up without judgment. Surrounding yourself with a diverse bunch of people.

What would you say to the woman reading this tonight… wondering if she's brave enough to take the first step?

If motherhood is on your heart, don't let it slip away. It is by far the best thing you can do.

One last thing…

If I could leave one message, it would be this: your story doesn't have to look like everyone else's to be beautiful.

There were moments when I wondered if I would ever be a mother and now my baby will be 2 next week. Your story doesn't have to be like everyone else's story.

Thank you, Ashley, for trusting ama. with your story. ♥